The Perfect picture 2.0: The Moments

As I read through my first ever blog post the other day from almost a decade ago, it made me think: so much has changed. Like, wow, it's almost a completely different world. AI didn't exist, filters were minimal (without Photoshop), and you almost didn't have to guess if a photo was edited; you could just basically know—a little airbrush, a little Adobe. But unfortunately, we have now become even more so evolved into this "pretend" world. Now it has become: is that person even real, or did that video actually happen?

about as perfect as i could be in the moment

In this world, we have become a clicks and likes society. Yes, there are the real ones out there, the fun, original, unfiltered photos and videos, which I applaud since it's almost looked down upon if you don't add a filter these days. It has turned into a monetary game, versus what they were first meant to be, which was memory creation. From the first paint stroke ever to cave-drawn images and charcoal drawings, they were meant to create a lasting memory of art and history. What we seem to be creating now is a false history, of not only unreal but overly edited, filtered, and in some cases completely fake photos and videos.

Time and place, yes, I believe there is a time and place for some minor brush-ups, touch-ups, but come on, when can we sprinkle in the reality of things, create the true moments without the "do you like it" or "is it okay if I post this," creating a self-worth of falsity? We live in the most judgmental society, the "look at me" generation. Which, yeah, I myself have, of course, been guilty of as well. I post things quite regularly to show what I am doing, what I have done, and what I am hoping to do in the future. Yes, my shirt's off, yes, I'm swinging a golf club really hard, but I will always be as real as possible with all of it. I will speak of hard times, show unedited photos, even bad or not-so-glamorous photos, and it could just be because I miss a part of those days. The days when we had the disposable cameras, the one "try" only group photos. Since within those photos, there isn't always or even rarely perfection. There are moments that are unscripted, real, and full of emotion.

just a teenage dirtbag

What is the family photo album going to look like now, an album full of absolutely perfect photography in a completely emotionless book? Now, obviously, I am speaking to those who are closer to my generation here, as well if you didn't have dial-up internet this likely doesn't make any sense to you at all. But is that a problem or not? Does it come with some extra thought behind what we view? How many times have you asked a friend or been asked to retake the picture or video because of how the original turned out? Things that used to be left to cinema have now become the opportunity to recreate things in a way that it has to be absolutely perfect. For some, it has turned into a full-blown career, which, if that is how you feed your family, I have no problem with or issue as we all have to eat and live. I'm just hoping that during your own personal intimate moments you can be present and are able to shut off for yourself and the ones you love.

What kind of good vs. what kind of damage is this causing today, in our mental health, in our youth, in our relationships with ourselves, our friends, our spouses? Are we ever going to be able to say without a doubt that this is a good change? Somehow and unfortunately, I highly doubt that is the case. From any and every angle possible, we see it online daily. We see the over-edited, over-trimmed, and I mean over-AI-generated images (I use AI for a lot of my real estate work, and believe me, even then it gets out of control and I have to rein it in).

We also see the comments, the bullying, the negativity on both sides. Someone with a keyboard, regardless of whether it's a real photo or an edited photo, is always chiming in with some sort of negative comments. What used to be only available for those around us in an album is now being shown to the world, and unfortunately, the world isn't an overly nice place. For those who choose to just post and show the real things, it cannot be easy knowing you are putting yourself out there to be judged, which is possibly why we as a society have become so "edit" focused to create something perfect. It closes the door to possible abuse and bullying. It's also safe to say no one is safe from this. Just go on Instagram or TikTok for 5 minutes and read comments; very rarely is there someone not upset or talking poorly about what can and should be a very positive photo or video.

What are the true memories going to be moving forward? How can we find a way to make all this okay again, to have a not-so-perfect persona and image, in order to feel value in this world? Is the ability to stay grounded even going to be enough? As a man who grew up and is basically an elder Millennial, it's as if we have been there for all the technological advancements over the past 30-40 years, and coming from my small town in Nipigon, Ontario, I always joked we were always 10 years behind the big cities. When I did go home this summer, I didn't notice it as much. Heck, I was the one with the phone out taking videos and pictures more than most others. It was a simple reminder at the time to live in the moment, or keep it simple and just capture the moment and move on. It was as if I was re-conditioning myself to just be happy in the moments that were in front of me. After all, I had just spent over half my year getting back in shape, trying to simply be a better version of myself, and even that didn't come without its critics.

A precious moment in time

I wish I had the power to bring us all back there, to not have us compare ourselves against one another in every aspect of life, to have us be able to just sit and enjoy a conversation and an outing, take our disposable cameras and capture the moment and move on, or better yet, capture the moment and then be too busy being lost in it that what it looks like doesn't truly matter anymore, because of what it meant, not because of what it looked like. I know this is speaking more to just fantasy than reality, since I do like capturing moments, possibly why sports moments have stuck with me as well. In real competition, there is no faking it; whatever happens, happens. It just seems it's one of the only real things left in today's society that is somewhat hard to fake, not impossible but just less likely.

Now I will say this simply because I know this might be brought up or mentioned by individuals: do whatever you feel you need to do to make yourself feel beautiful. Wear the makeup, get dressed up, have your fillers and Botox (Brotox for the boys). None of that type of stuff am I against at all. If it makes someone feel better about their appearance or themselves, if it puts a smile on your face, that is all that should matter. But please don't judge others who may choose not to do such things, and I would like to say that goes both ways. It's part of what is separating us as people when we make false judgments about others when we don't know their story. Doing it or choosing not to doesn't in any way make one person better than the other. At the end of the day, we are all human and, within that, individuals, with the ability for self-expression and self-choice. I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole here, but being respectful of each other as individuals is also something we are lacking in certain cases in today's society.

To conclude this in the way it was begun, the judgment is against being perfect always. For those who absolutely need only perfect pictures, I hope you are creating your own special memories in other ways, since life isn't perfect and there is always a way to make moments special beyond just what is on a camera roll. This is in no way an attack on anyone who edits photos, as I know you may have your own very personal reasons for doing so, reasons that you may never want to be public, which I can completely understand. I just hope there is some realness left in this world before my time is up, because there is true beauty in all that is real, and I really want you to find that for yourself.

Until next time,

RG